Faith

Faith -- it sounds so easy to have. I mean, we talk about, learn about, and teach about it all the time, but if we are honest, it is one of the hardest things to have in our lives. For some reason, while we lived overseas, faith wasn't something I struggled with, or at least not to a large degree. Now, don't get me wrong. It's not that I had this great faith...it just wasn't something I really dealt with, needing lots of faith, not seeing an outcome, being confused and weary. I probably should have struggled more with it, I probably should have shed more tears over our situation there and the people we were working with, I probably should have felt much more than I did. Well, it's catching up with me now. Since we have been married, we never went through a time that we didn't know what the next month held, where we would live month to month, what kind of work we would have next month... I thought coming back to the States would be a breath of fresh air, would be a time of relaxation, would be a time to gather our thoughts about the future. But, I've discovered that this time, however long it might be, is a time for me to grow in faith. I've been shown that faith isn't easy, not when you are actually finally put in a place that faith is all you have to keep you going, to keep you hopeful of the future. I've never needed faith more, and although it is not always fun "growing in faith", it is absolutely a necessary part of life. I thought I had faith before, but what I had was a "logical" and "practical" faith, which isn't true faith at all. I need to learn to have that faith of a child, to go back to the time that I never worried about where my next meal would come from or about if my parents had enough money, because I knew that my parents would always take care of me. Well, I have an eternal Father who also promises to take care of me, and I know he is fully capable of keeping that promise. Faith -- it's definitely not easy, but it's definitely worth whatever it takes to get it.