Cross-Cultural Frustrations

Well, I was reminded yesterday that I am no longer in the United States. Everything, and let me emphasis EVERYTHING, is done here differently. Some things are not so bad, they are just different, then other things can drive you up the wall because you can't understand why they would chose to do things that way. Anyways, we got an apartment yesterday, but it was much more trouble than we ever expected. We used a friend to help us translate and she brought us to a nice real estate agency. They had called our friend the day before and said they had two really nice new apartments for rent, but by time we got there, they were both "already rented" -- not sure how that happened so quickly. The first apartment they showed us was pretty good and we told the guy we would think over it and give him a call after lunch. He had another place to show us (which was actually his to sell -- the first was on his friend's list to sell). The second was pretty good also, but we felt that the first one was in a better location. However, there were a few more we wanted to look at, so we told the guy again that we would call him after lunch with a decision. So, we headed off to another real estate agency that had one that we really liked from the outside. N actually went there last week and they said the landlord was out of town but come back Friday. Nate wouldn't be there on Friday, so he asked about Monday, and they said that would work. So, we came back this Monday, and they told us that the landlord wouldn't be in town until 4:00 that day, so we asked if he would be available the next day, and they said yes. So, yesterday (the "next day"), we went back again, and they said "Oh, he is out of town, he will be back at 4:00"...?!?!?! So, we decided that maybe we just were not supposed to have this apartment. After lunch, we called the first guy back and said we wanted the first apartment. He said he would meet us in front of the apartment at 1:30. Great :)! At 1:30, he shows up and says that he is sorry but they just rented out the apartment to another family that looked at the apartment right after us --- WHAT???? My apartment is not mine anymore?! For a few seconds I saw red...to be honest :) So, long story shorter...we looked at a few more and finally settled on the second apartment. It's definitely a "foreign" apartment, with the bathroom sink in the hallway between the kitchen and bathroom...our views may be of other old apartment buildings...we may have to walk through a street full of little restaurants and shops to get to the main road...but it's "home", and home is what you make out of it.

Apartment hunting

So, we have learned how apartment hunting can range from one city to the next. When we looked for an apartment in our current city, we looked at two...that is it...and we picked the first one. Perfect apartment -- 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (one large), nice living room with a separate dining room, large kitchen, etc... We couldn't have been blessed more with our first apartment. I remember looking for my wedding dress 4 years ago. I had heard about how long it takes to find the perfect wedding dress. Took my sister a while and finally found her dress in Dallas. I went to David's in Tyler, tried on 3 dresses, and picked the first one. Easy. Everything will always be that easy...wrong! So, we go to our new city, start the search. You mean there are no real estate agents that speak English?! Actually, we were prepared for that -- we grabbed our friend with fluent language and took her with us. This agent helped her when she lived in this city. Well, he had one to show us. Small 2 bedroom, tiny bathroom, tiny kitchen, noisy outside, dirty neighborhood... We ask him if he has anything nicer or newer. He looks at us like we just grew a third eye and says "That is nice!". So, no help there. Moving on, we decide just to take a taxi to this really nice community on the edge of the city (because on the edge is the only place you can get away from the 24/7 noise of traffic and people). This place is huge, with who knows how many different apartment complexes. Luckily, someone tells us that there is a central rental office. So, after we reach the office after asking numerous people, plus guards, where this place is and being told differently every time, we go in and ask. "Come back in 1 1/2 hours and a lady will be here to help you". Ok, so 1 1/2 hours later, we come back. Lady is there, but as we walk in, without saying a word or even looking at us, she shakes her head no, and the man we talked to earlier says "No aparments here". Yeah right, but what can we do? So, we leave and return home. Nate comes back a few days later to look at an apartment that a friend had told us about. Nice apartment -- jacuzzi (wow!), AC/heat, furniture -- sounds great! Oh, but there is a huge hill you have to climb...and it's on the 7th floor. Ok, so that would be doable in the States with a car an elevator...but that is not how it is here. First, we don't have a car so walking the hill is a must, and unless the building is above 8 floors, no elevator is needed (or so they say!). Climbing 7 flights of stairs everyday numerous times a day would be a great way to stay in shape, but not a great way to stay sane. Anyways, long post, but in case you ever wanted to get an apartment here, you have been forewarned :) Still looking, but we have a good feeling about this next week! Will let you know!

Lessons learned

During our recent trip, N and I sat down and wrote out all the lessons we have learned during our first year overseas. These are things that we should have known or noticed long before now, but it took moving halfway across the globe to see this.

1) Immersion in a culture doesn't mean you will learn a language -- you actually have to use the language regularly, meaning making an embarrassment out of yourself.
2) Culture shock doesn't happen in one week -- it occurs over the course of a year. It's the gradual wear and grating on your nerves that gets you -- like when the salt doesn't come out of the shaker.
3) You don't know the blessings you had until they are gone -- you even begin to notice the insignificant blessings, such as getting to drive 40 minutes to and from work in a quiet car, with heat/air, with just the radio and you.
4) The things you most dislike about yourself and the things that irritate you the most are amplified in a different culture. Deal with it.
5) It is possible to make a variety of scrumptious meals using only fresh vegetables and grains.
6) It is possible to live in a home without central heat and air -- it's just not very fun.
7) The perceptions of a culture and country from the other side (through books, vacations, etc.) are completely different from the reality with which you come face to face. It even changes from day to day.
8) Cultural different food is delicious to tourists, but gets really old, oily, and monotonous if you eat it for more than 6 months.
9) From consistent good habits before your life undergoes upheaval, because it's not any easier to do when under stress in a new environment.
10) Just because you are doing what you should do doesn't mean you won't question what or why you are doing it.
11) Sometimes the only reason you move and change your life is to learn something you should have learned before. Sometimes the only reason you move to a foreign culture is for someone else to learn something through you.
12) The only results of some actions, attitudes, and habits are ones that you personally may never see, experience, or even know about. You just have to believe you are making an impact. You will never make it otherwise.

Spring is arriving!!!

It's been a long winter so far. But to tell the truth, the winter here is nothing like the horror stories that we were told from friends (but they did experience the worst winter last year in 50 years so what am I to talk!). If you don't know, apartments here do not have heaters unless you mess with purchasing one yourself and all the walls are concrete so no insulation. We were told that you basically freeze all the time, eat meals in your bedroom (which is usually the warmest room in your house), stay inside your bedcovers with the heating pad on all day, etc... Although there is some truth to what they said, we didn't freeze the whole winter, we always ate our meals in the dining room (although you eat faster so you can leave the table and go back to the bedroom to rewarm yourself!), and we never turned on the bed heating pad during the day. However, we did learn a few things during our first winter here:

1) Although 50 degrees is very bearable outside, it is very UNbearable inside your house.
2) We never thought we would be paying $100 a month to keep one room at a high of 60 degrees, but you find out that money is no object when it comes to being warm!
3) It is very possible to be warmer outside than inside your own house.
4) You learn to love long johns! I've never been a fan of them, but I even wear them in my house now!
5) You learn that living in one room of your house is possible, but you may go stark crazy.
6) Portable heaters are your best friend, and sometimes you may find your husband hiding in the bathroom (which heats up quickly due to its small size) with the heater for no reason other than to get warm again. Ok, I confess...I've been caught doing that too...
7) Olive oil becomes a solid state when cold, which our olive oil has been solid (not frozen, just solid) since winter started.

Which leads me to my title "Spring is arriving!"

We were very fortunate to be able to leave our city (and country) for 6 weeks -- a combination of retreats, vacation, and medical appointments -- and go to a very warm location. However, we never could figure out why people kept the air conditioners on at 50 degrees (or at least it felt that cold) inside buildings when we just left a place that was continuously cold! Anyways, the day came when we had to return to our cold city. It's a pretty disappointing feeling when you are enjoying the wonderful sun before getting on the plane and then, when you get off the plane, your struggling to find your coat. However, a sign of hope happened to me when we entered our apartment. I was busy in the kitchen, putting up some food brought back from our trip, and look! The olive oil was a liquid state! That must mean it has been warm lately! That must mean that spring is actually arriving! I never thought that olive oil would make me so happy. However, I'm sad to say, our olive oil is once again in the solid state, but I'm checking it daily for signs of spring!